Full of angst, 16 years old
sweeter than a swisher
One late night, you are up in your bedroom when you hear your mom calling you downstairs. You are halfway down the staircase when all of a sudden, you see your mom in front of her bedroom door, terrified, she whispers, ‘Don’t go downstairs. I heard her, too.’
Who do you believe?
(Source: moriarty, via mr-nice-watch)
ap student: hey im going to my ap class
ap student: ugh my ap textbook is SO heavy
ap student: ugh, im taking 7 AP classes
ap student: AP
ap student: listen to me
ap student: look at me
ap student: AP
ap student: IM SMART
ap student: LET ME READ YOU MY ENTIRE SCHEDULE SO THAT YOU CAN INHALE HOW INTELLIGENT I AM AND BREATHE IN HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN YOU
ap student: ap
paparazzi: fuck off back to america
justin bieber: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo
Before this catches on with miserable adult babies reblogging to only add “KILL IT WITH FIRE” or some other idiotic, unfunny meme:
This is a mature female spider of the Nephila genus. I’m not sure the exact species, but members of this genus are also known as “golden silk orb weavers.” Their yellow-orange silk can be used to make golden cloth, like in this tapestry.
The bite of a Nephila isn’t serious. Wikipedia describes the worst case scenario - localized pain or a more severe allergic reaction - but most bitten will only experience a little itching. Like any spider, they only bite in self defense or when forcibly pressed against skin, and these big females are especially docile. I’ve held a related species on two occasions, they don’t scare very easily.
They’re so laid back, in fact, and so insistent on remaining in the same web, that these are the spiders some cultures have used as mosquito guards, deliberately setting them up to spin webs in open windows or over the top of a baby’s crib.
You can trust spiders with babies. Don’t be an asshat about your phobia plz.
informative and comforting tbh
It’s basically a large daddy long leg.
(Source: menthaaquatica, via jackieshannon)